I have a question that nagging me for the last couple weeks. Question which should be asked to a friend, yet I can’t find the right time to ask it. The problem is that whatever the answer is, it might bring no good for me.

If the answer is ‘yes’, I’m not sure whether I still get what I wanted, or I will only get a delusion from the past, and repeating the same fault I’ve done.

If the answer is ‘no’, well, nothing happens. It just stated that the existing situation is the best, and nothing should be changed.

Probably I should keep the question for myself….

I’ve broke up with her 1,5 years. I also heard the news that she had a new boyfriend. I myself also had some women come and go. Nothing went to serious relationship though, mostly because they’re coming at a wrong time, when I did’t prepare to start a new relationship.I’m saying to my close friends that, I don’t want her anymore, at least not in the near future, but I guess I can’t trick myself. Some part of me still wants her, not in our last few months, but in our early years. And then, people change, so I guess I’m in no-hope situation here to get the old her.

Nevertheless, that information from my friends would never prepare me to see her with her new boyfriend. Still feel weird and awkward. I guess I had to get used to it and move on. Move from deep inside my heart, something which is really not easy.